Clare and Jim go South

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Senor Tango


Glitz and Glam

Glitz and Glam

Oh what a funny night!

I spent ages working out what bus we needed to get to the back of beyond for this fancy show… looked up the routes in Spanish online, then whipped out my map to check it went the right way. Bus 12 we needed, and we were so pleased when there is was. Hopped on it, generally didn’t understand what the bus driver said to me, but was confident in my Duke-of-Edinburgh-Bronze-Award-esque skills that we were going the right way.

All going well (aside from the bus not reeeeeally having any breaks, and the driver seemingly not wanting to use the little he had until the veeery last second), when about 20 mins in a police man got on (with gun as standard in a holder).. and the next thing you know, he’s looking at Jamie and I and nodding at us to get off. Something about us needing to go left… I don’t know. I couldn’t really tell what he was saying, but did know, that when a man with a gun tells you to do something, it’s probably best to obey.

So we stood there, looking tres confused, staring at the bus stop, me explaining to Jamie I was certain it was the right one - and why had no one else been asked to get off, Jamie saying we should have just told the policeman that. Ahem… in my broken Spanish, him with a gun - nooooo chance! Then all of a sudden, the driver asks us “Senor Tango?” to which I said “Si, si siiiiiiiii”… and he directed us back on the bus. EH?! How all the other passengers laughed! Mighty embarrassing, and noooooo idea why it happened, but we ended up getting to the venue in one piece more or less.

We got there a bit early with the intention of grabbing a bite to eat beforehand. We thought we’d check out Senor Tango’s menu out just to see, but somehow that got lost in translation. I’m thinking that the huge amounts of plastic surgery the woman on reception had undergone meant her ears had been misplaced somewhere and she didn’t hear me right. As we walked through, all the waiters were lined up at the side Vegas stylee to welcome the guests - about 30 of them. This proved a little embarrassing, as two minutes later we were on our way out again because it was waaaay too pricey for us, fighting through the diners on their way in. We explained to Miss Plastic Fantastic 2 our idea of eating elsewhere, and she looked at us in complete and utter shock… “No no no nooooo! You mustn’t leave here, it is toooo dangerous, and there are no restaurants anyway.” But we live in London.. we go out in Brixton quite regularly, are you sure it’s that bad…? “I just want you leaving Buenos Aires in perfect state” she reassured us. Hmmmmm, hoped that didn’t mean we required surgery….

Anyhow, we insisted and the next thing you know, she tells us there is a restaurant nearby - great food, but v cheap she warned. Perfect, why didn’t you say so earlier?! But. We were only allowed to go on one condition - yes, yes, yes. Anything! So she grabbed a man (who was about a foot smaller than me) to accompany us the 400 metres for our safety. Lordy!! As we wandered along side this petite man, who didn’t speak a word of English, we felt very very silly. And in about 2 minutes flat, we arrived in a brilliant local’s restaurant where we had the best (and cheapest) meal so far….yum.

Despite her concerns, we managed to make our way back to the venue on our own, without getting shot, attacked, or anything stolen - and much to our delight, she had also given us a better table! Result. We sat with two English women who were part of a tour. One of them made me a laugh a lot because she kept saying ‘bugger’ in a quintessentially English accent - hee hee. It was nice to talk to someone other than ourselves for a bit! The wine list was shockingly expensive. Kept getting palpations because twice the waiter came back to say one of the cheaper 60 peso wines was out of stock. Doh! We were running out of pikey wine options… and then he tells us he has an offer on a bottle that costs 45 pesos and would that do! Yes sireeeeee! Vino poured out, the show began. He very quickly told us we could pay by visa, mastercard, dollars, pesos. This has happened a lot out here - trying to tell you how to pay for things before you’ve even bought anything. Weird.

And what a show it was! It started with a couple of horses on stage (madness!) and a brief dance stlyee interpretation of the history of Argentina. A bit random to be honest… but horses…on a small stage. I was sold! The show combined short bursts of different, brilliant tango duos, with musical interludes, squeeze box solos.. and some Patagonian musicians playing pan pipes (you know, like the ones who come to Bromley High Street sometimes - only these were so much better!). Also, there were a set of 60 odd identical twins with strange coloured hair, fake plastic boobs belting out some classic Argentinean love songs - hilarious! They sang the finale where the whole dance troupe got together on stage below an enormous Argentina flag draping down, hands on hearts, and confetti dropping from the ceiling as they sang “Don’t cry for me Argentina”. Veeeeeeery cliched, but still a good giggle nevertheless!

And then we settled our bill… where the waiter then twice told Jamie that service was not included. Grrrrr. That has happened a bit too out here - makes me not want to leave any tip at all. Then we were off for a late night drink in San Telmo. Sat outside in a lovely square - it’s great that it’s warm enough to do that now. Quite shocked there too actually..Groups of people set up little stalls selling different bits - jewellery, souvenirs etc. And some of them then came round to those drinkers that had bought pitchers of beer and asked if they could share their glass, and have a few sips. Eugh. And the Argenintes said yes! We couldn’t believe it - begging for beer…Thank goodness for those Hepatitis injections.

I told you there was a horse...

I told you there was a horse...

Don't Cry for Me Argentina!

Don't Cry For Me Argentina! Twins either side of the guy - they really were about 60. God bless plastic surgery.

Poor old Jamie.. he’s spent the last 45 minutes trying to get the England football match through the internet, and it’s been useless - kept cutting out and losing pictures. He’s just given up… turned the TV on for some sound company… and it’s been on the TV the whole time… Boooooo! Found this out at the 90 minute mark. Oh BUGGAR.

posted under Clare
3 Comments to

“Senor Tango”

  1. On October 12th, 2008 at 12:19 pm Dad Says:

    You do write a fantastic story - really made me laugh. What was all that about the Policeman? What was he doing?
    Dad xxx

  2. On October 14th, 2008 at 10:44 am Jane Says:

    You are so funny - such good descriptions that I feel as though I am there! Cant believe the spitting and poo stuff at the football - not the best place to be sitting!! Look forward to next installments.
    Jane xx

  3. On October 14th, 2008 at 1:36 pm Sandra Says:

    Hannah and I had a good giggle at this one x